


Papaoutai

by Crunchwrap_Omega



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bland Name Product, Crying into French Fries, Extreme Creative Liberties Because Fuck It, Friendship, Gen, Gonna have that shit down, I was paid real dollars for this shit, Joke Fic, McDonald's, Mentions of other characters but it's mostly just Adri and Nino, My beautiful rich son does not know what a coin is, No Akuma in this fic, Stromae - Freeform, The Euro, but French cultural nuances?, but if there was - Freeform, fuck canon am I right guys, it'd be the hamburglar, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11153979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crunchwrap_Omega/pseuds/Crunchwrap_Omega
Summary: "If your dad goes through your phone all the time, why not get a part time job and save up for your own?"And so he found himself here, serving greasy hashbrowns to the few customers who stopped in. Mostly just tired or busy Parisians, and the occassional tourist who was too afraid to go to any of the local restaurants. Nino had even put in a good word for him with his (their?) boss. He told the boss all about how Adrien was SUCH a hard worker, and was ALWAYS helping his dad around the house.Adrien wasn't sure what was a bigger lie, keeping his life as Chat Noir from everyone, or Nino telling someone he helps his dad.





	Papaoutai

**Author's Note:**

> "Please write me a story about Adrien getting a part time job I'll pay you"  
> "Lmao put 5 bucks in my paypal and we'll talk"  
> "KW has transferred 10 dollars to your account"  
> "well fuck"
> 
> I've never seen Ladybug in English, so if there's even a smidgen of canon here, it comes from the French version alone. Also, due to the heavy workload of your average collège, it's extremely rare for a student to get a part time job but fuck that am I right ladies

"Nino, I've changed my mind, I can't do this. My dad will kill me if he finds out!"

"Adrien. Your dad flipped his shit when he found a Jagged Stone CD in your room. If you let your dad stop you from everything, you'd never leave the house."

"I'll just ask Nathalie to get me the money, really, it's okay--"

"Adrien Laurent Agreste, do you know how many strings I had to pull to get you this job. If you don't show, my boss will kill ME. Besides, don't you want to become at least a LITTLE independent?"

* * *

Adrien hadn't meant to find himself in this situation. He simply wanted to lament a little over the fact that his dad wouldn't let him play Nokomon DOJO, that he'd gone through his phone to make sure he didn't have the app. He simply wanted to get stuff off his chest, chat with his best friend, nothing unusual!

"If your dad goes through your phone all the time, why not get a part time job and save up for your own?"

And so he found himself here, serving greasy hashbrowns to the few customers who stopped in. Mostly just tired or busy Parisians, and the occassional tourist who was too afraid to go to any of the local restaurants. Nino had even put in a good word for him with his (their?) boss. He told the boss all about how Adrien was SUCH a hard worker, and was ALWAYS helping his dad around the house. 

Adrien wasn't sure what was a bigger lie, keeping his life as Chat Noir from everyone, or Nino telling someone he helps his dad.

"So Adrien, how's your first ever day of work going?" 

Nino sauntered over to him casually, leaning on the counter he was currently working at.

"Nino, I am terrified. At any moment, my dad could walk in here, see me, and murder me. No more public school, no more cell phone, no more leaving the house, no more internet. This is by far the scariest thing I have ever done in my life."

"Dude," laughed Nino. "Has your dad ever even been in a hundred kilometre radius of a WcBulbo's? I think you're fine. Other than that, everything okay?"

"Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, you described it like it was a lot of customers all the time, but so far, there's not a lot of people? I think I've taken, like, four orders today, and I've been here for two hours..."

"That, my friend, is because you have yet to experience the lunch rush."

"The what."

* * *

"Sir, I'm sorry, but this coupon expired in 1998! We can't accept it."

"Well then, it's your job to let me exchange it, isn't it!?"

11:30 AM. Not even technically lunch time, and already Adrien had to deal with France's most difficult customer.

"Sir," Adrien began, slowly this time. "It's company policy that we don't accept coupons a year past their expiration date. I'm very sorry, but we can't replace the coupon, either."

"This is unbelievable!" the man was turning red now, his little bald head scrunching up in anger. "My friend had a coupon that was expired, and he brought it in last month! And you accepted it! Does your company operate on a policy of inequality, as well? I demand you let me speak to a manager. I'll make sure this is dealt with swiftly, and you'll be sorry!"

Just as Adrien was about to break down, Nino stepped in.

"'Sup, sir? Our manager's out today, and so I'm acting manager while she's gone. Is there a problem here?"

"Yes! Absolutely! My coupon is SLIGHTLY expired, and the idiot you've hired to work here refuses to replace it! What do you intend to do about this?" the man fumed.

"Sorry, dude. Check the back of the coupon. We can't exchange the coupon if it's over five years past the expiration date. But, and don't tell anyone I did this now, I'm willing to let you have as many free salt packets as you'd like. Completely on the house." Nino punctuated this with a conspiratory wink. Adrien wasn't sure if this was directed at him or the man.

"Thank you, sir. It's good to know that there's still SOME useful employees in the world. Honestly, and people keep fighting for higher wages... It's a shame, I tell you." the man continued to mutter to himself as he walked towards the salt packet dispenser, taking far more than a single human should ever need.

"Thanks, Nino. But can't you get in trouble for telling him you're acting manager? And for giving him stuff?" asked Adrien.

"Nah, boss doesn't give a shit if you tell difficult customers that. She'd rather you calm them down than waste her time. She'll just tell them the same thing we do. Plus, salt packets are free anyways. Just make up something like that, and they'll calm down and leave."

"This is the hardest job I've ever worked, and that's including being--" Adrien stopped himself. "Uh, a model! Yeah. Way harder than being a model. And that's some pretty tough work." _Smooth, Agreste. Real smooth._

"You can do it, my man. Just two and half hours left until lunch rush ends, and last half hour is always easiest. For Nokomon, right?"

"For Nokomon." Adrien sighed.

* * *

_"Je... Je foutrais... um.... uno WcRib...?"_

"Not to worry, ma'am. I speak English. What was it you wanted, now?"

"Oh, thank you so much... I'd like a WcRib, please!"

"A... WcRib?" Adrien tilted his head in confusion. "Um, we don't really serve those at this location..."

"Are you quite sure?" Adrien could barely hear the woman over the sound of the screaming toddler she had in her arms. "I just got one back home in Colorado... Maybe it's a secret menu item?"

"I'm definitely sure, ma'am. There's also no secret menu here. Can I interest you in anything else, though? There's tons of great regular menu items!"

"Sure, uh, just gimme a plain cheeseburger and a smiley meal. Little Kayleigh here wants a Star Wars toy."

"Okay! Coming right up, ma'am." Try as he might, Adrien couldn't be exasperated with this woman. She was at least making an effort to order in French, and didn't argue when he explained things to her. Plus, he was sure travelling with a young child was a challenge. His memories of travelling with his parents were fuzzy at best, but he was sure it was rough. 

Just as he was about to call the woman over to take her tray, sweet, adorable, precious little Kayleigh saw it fit to empty her stomach onto the floor.

Like clockwork, Nino showed up, mop and bucket in hand.

"Newbie's job to wipe it up, dude."

* * *

5 PM. Only about an hour left of work, and customers had more or less slowed to the amount that he had dealt with in the morning. Most customers at this point were going to the drive through, and, thankfully, he had yet to receive any form of drive-thru training.

Adrien leaned on the counter. Nobody really cared about posture here, right? The music playing over the stereo system was droning in his ears, enough to make him want to fall asleep. It was mostly just smooth jazz, with the occassional American pop song here and there.

"Uh, hey, can I just get 10 WcNuggets, some fries and a blueberry Korina? Thanks, kid."

This was it. An easy order, no arguments, no secret menu, no coupons, no paying entirely in one cent Euro coins. There was no way this could go wrong. After this, he could call it a day, clock out, and leave.

The song over the speakers faded out, and a new song began.

"Maman dit 'travailler c’est bien'"  
 _Mama says “working is good”_

Bien mieux qu’être mal accompagné, pas vrai?  
 _Better to be there than in bad company, right?_

Oh God. What song was this. A minute into the song, and already, he was swarming with emotions. Was there someone out there, someone who wrote this song, who understood? Someone who had the same circumstances as him? It seemed almost too good to be true.

"Où t’es papa où t’es?"  
 _Where are you papa, where are you?_

"Où t’es papa où t’es?"  
 _Where are you papa, where are you?_

"Où t’es papa où t’es?"  
 _Where are you papa, where are you?_

"Où t’es où t’es où, papa où t’es?"  
 _Where are you, where are you, papa where are you?_

Nino was panicking. "Cécile. Change the radio station right now."

"I'm sorry?"

"Cécile just do it before it's too late."

"Sir, please stop crying into my fries..."

* * *

"Adrien. Adrien listen to me. It's been a month now. You need to tone it down with the bowties and patterns. Please. I'll cover your shifts for an entire week if that's what it takes."

"It is too late, Nino, for I have heard everything."

**Author's Note:**

> Some cultural notes:   
> Stromae: super famous pop artist in France. his fashion sense is...interesting. I'm a personal fan, but look him up and decide for yourself!  
> Papaoutai: one of his more famous songs, "Papa where are you" in English. Fitting for our dear Adrien, non?  
> Je voudrais: I would like  
> Je foutrais: doesn't make much sense in French, but is something like "I'd like to get screwed"   
> Lorina: French soda. Comes in eight fruity flavours! Five of which are lemonade, IE blueberry lemonade, French limonade, French berry lemonade, etc.


End file.
